The Story of Amish Girl Emma Gingerich’s Escape

Emma Gingerich was just eighteen years old when she escaped her Amish community in Missouri for a new life as part of the greater society or as the Amish like to call it, the “English world.”

Before we dive into Emma’s story it is important to understand a bit about the Amish. The Amish community in the United States dates back to the founding of the country. Composed of primarily German Anabaptists and Mennonites, the Amish are known for a simpler way of life in our ever-increasing modern existence.

Their lifestyle harkens back to a time when one did not send a text to have a conversation but rather individuals would speak face-to-face, and family time was not to be infringed upon. In short, the Amish way of life, on the surface, is strikingly different from the fast-paced, overly technologically reliant culture we live in today.

Gingerich grew up one of fourteen children in Eagleville, Missouri, approximately one and a half hours north of Kansas City on Interstate 35. Her family made handwoven baskets which they sold.

While many Amish women are still expected to follow the traditions handed down through the generations, it is no longer uncommon for Amish women to work outside the home or to further their education.

One such conservative Amish community is the “Swartzentruber Amish,” the community Gingerich’s family was a part of. Considered to be the least modern of the Amish, the name “Swartzentruber” in German comes from the tradition of only bathing once a week on Saturdays.

The strictly conservative Gingerich family was prohibited from living with any type of modern amenity such as electricity, running water, or a motor vehicle. Emma’s main mode of transportation growing up was the traditional horse and buggy.

Most Amish communities speak Pennsylvania Dutch, a form of German when speaking within their community. English is used when speaking to those from the outside world.

Gingerich attended school until the age of fourteen, through the eighth grade. At this point, her education was completed, and she was expected to work.

Once Gingerich left school as a teenager, she began to feel that she did not fit into her Amish community. The life that awaited her did not appeal to her. The inflexibility of the rules and lack of freedom began to gnaw at Emma as well as a terrifying experience she had when she was sixteen years old.

Emma’s family brought a young man to their home one evening that they felt would be a good fit for her. They were brought upstairs to engage in a centuries-old tradition known as bundling. This is a practice where the unmarried couple lies next to each other and spends the evening talking to get to know each other.

While no physical interaction is allowed and it is a long-held tradition in conservative Amish communities, the entire experience horrified Emma. The idea of an arranged marriage and falling in love with someone in this way seemed very wrong to her.

Traditionally, Amish courtship begins between the ages of fourteen and sixteen and is considered a profoundly serious matter. It holds somewhat of a religious connotation and is usually more sped up than courtship in the secular world.

The practice of bundling, as Emma experienced, is now only practiced by the most conservative of Amish communities. Having its roots in the European past when homes were especially cold in the winter.

Emma came to a realization – she wanted the freedom to choose her own life and she desired to further her education. Emma wanted more for herself than she was finding in Eagleville with her family. Gingerich wanted the lifestyle that existed outside of her traditional Amish life.

Gingerich no longer agreed with the Amish traditions and lifestyle that she had known her whole life. The weight of it all threatened to crush her – she had to do something.

The friend Gingerich confided in was able to sneak her the phone number of a woman, an ex-Amish woman, who could help her escape from her community. Instead of going against her friend, luckily she supported her idea.

Her parents were becoming suspicious of her behavior and feelings towards their lifestyle. There was no way she would be able to escape if they were home. At last, they left the home, and she seized the opportunity to begin leaving her restricted life behind.

In January 2006, when she was eighteen, Emma called the phone number of the woman who had also fled the Amish life. It was the first phone call Gingerich made – ever.

The woman who answered the call instructed Emma to walk four miles to the next small town where someone would pick her up. Leaving with nothing but the phone number and the clothes she was wearing.

In the Amish tradition, there is something known as the “rumspringa” or “teenage break” where teens experience life outside of the community. It is an opportunity to engage in rebellious behavior where enforcement norms are relaxed.

Before she left, Emma left her parents a note stating: “The time has come for me to leave, I am not happy here anymore. I am sorry to do this to you but I need to try a different life.” With that note, Gingerich left her Amish life behind.

When she reached the small town, Gingerich was picked up by the kind woman with whom she had spoken on the phone. The woman took Gingerich in for two weeks as she began to adjust to her new life outside of the community.

Before her exodus, the only interaction Gingerich had with the outside world had been extremely limited. Aside from the occasional trip to the grocery store, she had little to no knowledge of what to expect.

Initially, Gingerich struggled with the unexpected culture shock of leaving her Amish world. She began to learn English and attended school.

Upon leaving her community, Emma had to obtain a social security number and a birth certificate – two items that most Americans take for granted. These two items, once Gingerich attained them, opened the door for the education she previously only dreamt about.

Emma settled in Texas where she went from cooking for sixteen to cooking just for herself. She pursued her general education development certificate and went on to obtain her college degree as well as her MBA.

Gingerich found the freedom of getting to make her own choices in life. She could now drive her own car, whereas prior to leaving her Amish community she was forced to use public transportation for any travel needs.

One of the greatest freedoms Emma discovered was the ability to date whomever she selected. In the Amish tradition, the age of eighteen is generally when people are baptized into the Amish church, and they promise to follow the Ordnung – and that means getting married soon after.

Once leaving her community, it took Gingerich several years to feel comfortable with the modern “English” way of dating. The freedom to choose who to date and when was a new experience for Emma.

In an ironic twist, the use of technology eventually brought Emma and her husband Clay together. The pair met on the Bumble app; a dating app meant to bring people together in meaningful relationships.

Now in her late thirties living with her husband and young daughter, Emma had no regrets about the choice she made to leave the Amish world. Her entire outlook and lease on life have changed.

Gingerich’s new life was not easy despite making the break from the culture that she felt trapped by. Initially, Emma experienced depression and a struggle with extreme shyness – especially when it came to speaking English and interacting with others.

Despite her desire to leave Eagleville and the Amish lifestyle behind, Gingerich was very homesick. She still loved her family and being separated from them was gut-wrenching. To combat this, she began to put her stories to paper in 2009 to help cope with her feelings.

Gingerich’s book, Runaway Amish Girl: The Great Escape, was published in 2014 and is a testament to her bravery in seeking a different life.

The release of Gingerich’s book made waves immediately. The initial backlash in her former community came almost immediately as letters began to arrive attacking her faith and belief in God. At one point, she was not allowed to visit her family unless she became Amish again.

Her testimony about life in the Amish world cast a stark light on a community that few outsiders ever hear about. She is quoted as saying being Amish is like getting two feet of snow in the wintertime, “It looks very pretty when you are in your warm house looking out at it, but if you really need to go out in it, it’s not so pretty anymore.”

The positive response from readers of her book was overwhelming. As soon as the book was released, positive feedback flooded into Gingerich, far outpacing any negative pushback she received.

Gingerich has become a beacon of hope for Amish girls across the nation who desire to do as she did – to leave the Amish world behind. She has made it her mission to encourage them and give them advice as well as be there to help them should they choose to leave their communities.

In addition to answering private messages from would-be ex-Amish, Gingerich began to share her story publicly at local churches and other community programs. Through her speeches, she continued to bring hope and encouragement to others.

While the initial backlash from her family was strong and fierce, Gingerich desired to repair her relationship with her family if she could. When she first began to make visits to Eagleville, she was shunned by the community at first.

The practice of shunning in the Amish community is often misunderstood by the outside world. It is commonly believed that once a person is shunned, they are cut off from their family for the rest of their lives with zero contact with them.

Each community dictates how strict the shunning rules are for people who leave, ranging from not being able to eat with one’s family at the same table to being barred from attending a funeral when a family member dies.

Eventually, Emma and her family’s relationship stabilized though it remains guarded. Gingerich’s parents, while happy for her now, remain restrained in expressing it as they do not want to encourage others to leave.

Are these departures due to Gingerich’s example? Perhaps but one thing is certain – Emma Gingerich paved the way bravely where few Amish women had dared to go before her.

The traditions and culture of the Amish are a story that is older than America itself. It is a community based on close family ties, hard work, self-sufficiency, and resistance toward modern technology.

Emma has forged a completely new path for herself despite the enormous risk.

The road to freedom was not an easy one. It was fraught with unexpected obstacles, familial collateral damage, and an experience that amounted to time traveling over a century’s worth of time as far as technology was concerned for Gingerich.

In many ways, Gingerich still embodies the self-sufficiency and humility that have come to be synonymous with the Amish community but at the same time, she revealed a side of their traditions that the outside world was unaware of.

Now the question remains – is the tide turning for conservative Amish communities such as the one found in Eagleville, Missouri? Will people continue to leave for a new life? Gingerich seems to think so but only time will tell.