Comedian Jimmy Fallon asks “Why did you get fired?” and people deliver
At some point in our lives, most of us will experience the crushing feeling of being let go from a job. It could feel unfair in some instances, and in others, maybe it was deserved. We live, we learn, we grow.
Please excuse the light roasting of these brave people who shared their misery with the world, all for a laugh. I’m a team player, so I was happy to pick up the torch and apply a light burn.
“I’ll never let go, Jack. I’ll never let go.” -Rose
These co-workers clearly had a friendship that extended past the confines of their workplace. Unfortunately for them, working in a video store apparently does not give you the right to act out theatrical moments from said movies.
Most likely, these two coworkers were acting out the famous scene in The Titanic when Jack and Rose embrace on the top of that enormous and doomed ship. The video store decided that they needed to let go.
Like rats on a sinking ship
This woman apparently heard of higher pastures and decided to call her co-worker to tell her to get in while the getting was good. Why she called on the employer’s line is a mystery and was definitely her fatal move.
Needless to say, they decided to end her relationship with the company before she did. As Leah, the original poster said, “I guess that’s frowned upon…” Yeah. Companies don’t tend to like when their employees conspire to bail, so they walked her to the plank on that one.
Liar liar, pants on fire!
This employee did not take into consideration that her employers had eyes on her when she decided to lie about when she rolled into work late one day. Sadly for her, they showed her the receipts in the form of video surveillance and decided they didn’t want that kind of dishonesty.
Kimberlee described her experience as being caught like a “deer in the headlights.” We can all imagine how awkward that moment was for literally all involved and Kimberlee left with her pants inflamed.
She didn't nail it
Imagine you’re having a lovely day out and about and decide to get some tasty ice cream to pass the time. The ice cream worker hands you your cone and you dig in, and what do you find?
An acrylic nail. While this unfortunate soul of an ice cream-tender surely did not mean for this to happen, it did, and it cost her more than just one acrylic nail.
This seems deserved…
It seems like a lot of these stories begin with a “my friend and I…” and this tweet is no exception. Two buddies decided that it would be wise to scare customers, which seems like a stunningly poor lack of judgment.
Like, what if an old lady hobbled around the corner and they scared her into a frenzy? Terrorizing customers seems like an obvious way to get yourself canned. Maybe the rules are different in Narnia.
We can’t all be mathematicians
This woman described an instance where she decided to be generous and nimble with someone else’s money. While the customers were probably feeling like a million bucks, Carrie was costing her employer their own money.
Lesson learned. Next time a calculator might come in handy to avoid draining your company’s funds on questionable economic skills.
Just say “I quit” why don’t ya?
Instead of saying “I don’t want to move my cat,” why not just say “I am not even remotely interested in working for you”? This seems to be an easier way to get across that you literally don’t give one cahoot about your position in the company.
But who knows? Maybe the cat is really sensitive, or even worse–mean! Maybe it was a hostage situation and they couldn’t express their distress. Maybe that fired employee and that unmovable cat are still sitting there to this day. The possibilities are endless.
A feral animal loose in a Wendy’s
This response leaves so many unanswered questions. I will address the most obvious first: mayonnaise? Plain mayo!? Honestly, it’s a little frightening. I’m failing to see the dietary or taste value that such a snack would bring.
Moving on to the fact that this woman was eating this mayo with her hands, AT WORK! It is definitely giving off raccoon energy. And finally, ew? You’re touching other people’s food with those saliva hands!
Some bonds are breakable
The first sentence of this tweet gives an immediate bad impression. His boss was yelling at his secretary all day? Sounds a bit toxic. But the plot twist came when the original poster explained what he said that led to his demise.
Although the guy stuck up for his mother, it cost him his job and his dad gave him the boot. Working relationship status: terminated. However, they both went home and presumably resumed their relationship of father and son.
Although at 16 we likely all thought we had it figured out, the truth is, we didn’t. Do we know it all now? That’s beside the point (no). So when this person was at that ripe and young age, they had not been versed enough in the dangers of ovens and chemicals.
This story has humor in it to be sure, but it could have ended much much worse. All in all, it seems like it worked out for everyone. Eyebrows intact and all.
From the sound of this woman’s perspective, options are limited in Indiana if you’re a teenager trying to get into the job field. This led her–naturally, to detasseling corn.
Apparently she was pretty good, because according to her, she was prematurely promoted and got to drive the tractor! Unfortunately for us popcorn lovers everywhere, she destroyed crops of corn. Unfortunately for her, she got the metaphorical axe.
Anita, the owner of this tale, decided to put her love of celebrity and want of physical proof that she had met said celebrity ahead of all else. She put her job on the line and lost.
The hope is that she was able to score the signature (Kind of an expensive signature, huh? A whole paycheck) and any time her wallet is feeling thin she can bust it out and feel rich in other ways.
The youth don’t care, man!
Youths. Center of the world pre-adult specimens who have lives dictated by hormones, power struggles, and drama. The drama comes from Glee, that show takes you for a ride!
Our original poster put her love of this sparkly show above her cash flow and this is likely the most teenager excuse to hit the web. Get it, Rachel.
Get lost, Cinderella
Some view it as an endearingly good sign if someone attracts animals, as though the creature can smell your goodness (or your lunch?). Remember Cinderella? Small animals helped her dress in the morning. But if there is a job to be performed and you’re rolling around with the laziest yet upbeat dude in the office, you’re going to reach resistance.
Getting fired for playing with a dog too much is a tad bit classic. It sounds like something a dog would do! Maybe her boss was a cat. Hiss.
Be germ-free or be gone!
One thing this amusement park will not stand for is eating rock candy from the floor. Is this an image issue? Or are they untrusting of anyone who thinks that floor food is something that should go in their mouth?
After rock-candy-gate, I have to wonder if the friend ever followed up on the nature of her firing. But alas, after such an ordeal one might never want to look back.
Slurping with the enemy
Starbucks is not to be trifled with when it comes to supporting their competitors. Roger came into work for his shift and left with no job and a cold coffee.
These are some hard-core expectations when it comes to brand loyalty. But then again, Starbucks likely is not too fond of a person strutting in with their competitor’ products.
Something feels off
According to this woman, her brother was let go because he was too fast, too efficient and he was hurting his co-worker’s feelings by making them look like snails.
It does kinda sound like a complete lie in order to side step the real issue–fired for being too fast? But then again, stranger things have happened.
Help yourself, but not too much
I have mercy for this woman who told her truth to the Twitter-verse. Free ice cream? Take as much as you like? Excuse me while I go invest in some larger pants.
It’s a shame when people say help yourself and then are stunned to find you have indeed helped yourself, that your sweet tooth is a force to be reckoned with, and that now they have to fire you.
Yet another story about ice cream, failure, and job losses. I had no idea there were so many high stakes surrounding the ice cream business, this seems deeply serious.
This woman accidentally shut off the one thing that ice cream needs–the cold. Instead she made an ice cream soup and was asked to bow out by Ben and Jerry’s.
Hills to die on
Luke really wanted to be on the Jimmy Fallon show. So badly, in that, that he essentially created an issue and carried it out with laser focus and execution to ensure that he made it happen.
Luke, in a fit of passion towards his goals, argued with his boss about his ability to get on the show. He was able to achieve his 15 seconds of fame, but his boss made sure it was worth it for him too.
This former employee told a lie and it ended her employment for it. Instead of being honest about where she was headed, she decided to give a fib. She wanted to have her cake and eat her Cinnabon too.
This did not sit well with her employers. Perhaps the line was long, perhaps she strolled back in with her treats in tow. Either way, that was her last day.
Ice cream strikes again
If you’re looking for a moral to this story, you might want to stay away from ice cream! Thus far, it seems to be ruining a lot of people’s lives. You’ve been warned!
This person seems to be quite smug and satisfied in the ways that their life panned out after they were fired versus the person who fired them. Maybe they took joy in it because they had been trying to do something kind and it cost them a lot. Either way, work is work! There is no shame to be had.
Someone call H.R., this is sketchy
Jet was fired for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and it cost him dearly. The ethics of this entire situation are deeply questionable. Intimacy with a subordinate is bad enough…
Firing the person who discovers your dirty little secret? That has all the makings of a lawsuit if you asked me!
Play stupid games…
Win stupid prizes! Why on earth this guy thought throwing pepper into a giant fan would pan out any other way than bad is hard to relate to. Have you sniffed pepper? No? Don’t. If you have–don’t!
This man was let go for his foolish antics. Now at dinners, he only reaches for the salt. The pepper is too triggering. Just kidding, what do I know about this man’s eating habits?
Food waste is bad and I totally feel for this woman. But what led to her downfall was more on her reaction to the trouble that she got into more than anything else.
When questioned about why she decided to take the bagels she decided to flex her pun-muscle and gave a funny (yet job-ending) response. Kudos?
Guilty until proven innocent
This one has got to be a tough pill to swallow! A negative review was written about his boss, which he did not write, and yet he was canned and took the blame.
If the man didn’t have something to complain about before, I’m sure he took pen to paper after this incident and used some choice words to describe his experience with the company that fired him
Back to the bellows
There is no denying that this story is hilarious, if not totally ridiculous and strange. But our original poster had to be let go due to her Smeagol impressions. You know? The little creep in Lord of the Rings?
Apparently it wasn’t anything to do with her work ethic. It seems like she takes it in stride and it definitely makes for a hilarious story.
Every time you point a finger, you point five back to yourself
This man’s dad was being accused of being a lazy worker and he was having none of it. He told the boss plainly that he was not going to be spoken to a certain way without striking back.
Was it worth it for the father? I would like to think so. There is something especially vindicating about speaking up for yourself and not letting people talk down to you.
Jimmy Fallon added some of his own stories to the mix with a tidbit about his friend who was fired from his job. The reason? A typo. A very big and hard to reverse typo. It’s a lesson worth noting, especially if your entire job is based around it!
I have so many questions, such as, was he still paid? Did he repaint it? Was he able to get any references or was that the beginning of the end for his painting career? Jimmy, chime in at any time.
The secret ingredient was experience
This seems more like a problem created by the hiring manager more than anything else. Unless of course the woman lied about her experience, then that is definitely on her. Though it is quite funny for someone to order a three ingredient drink (do you count ice?) and then have no clue what to do.
The question itself was probably a large and waving red flag for management that they had made a mistake. On top of that, they did not see the value in training her.
No lives were guarded that day
Oh, Caroline. Why tell on yourself like this? This seems like bad judgment from point A to point B. If your job is to protect lives, I hope that you’d care about their well-being!
Not only that, but she seemed to go out her way to be harmful towards people. Trash fudge? Really? None of this made her look endearing, funny, or even safe to be around to be quite honest!
It’s boring here!
Sleep is crucial and it can be very hard to get through the day when you haven’t had an adequate amount of time up in the clouds, resting your body and mind. Coffee is highly recommended.
This person fell asleep at their desk and instead of apologizing, offering some sort of reasonable reply as to why he’s done such a thing he went ahead and said it was because it was boring. Yeah–that’ll do it.
That is just plain bad luck
It can feel really nice to take a personal day, and honestly we all deserve it here and there for our mental well being. However, instead of expressing this, this original poster went the lying route.
Running into your boss after you’ve lied is probably the most awkward thing that can happen and there they were. How did that conversation go I wonder…I would just let myself out.
WHO doesn’t care about their job?
The answer is Francesca. Francesca wanted to see The Who and that she did! Sometimes our life experiences mean more to us than a transient job and we make decisions.
It seems like it really paid off for her though. Not only did she met the entire band, her and her friends hung with Pete Townshend for eight entire hours. I’d say she made the right call.
Dad can’t see it happening
This original poster’s father had decided to bring his call to his boss very literally. CIting something wrong with his eyes, the dad was very clear that coming in was not an option.
And to follow-up he leaned into the comedy of it all and said he really could see himself coming into work.
A dead career
Standing in a refrigerated drawer where dead bodies sit seems like a couple steps too far, but this fired person was not the only person to have the idea it seems and it cost them a great deal.
Along with fainting in sheer terror, not being able to execute their own joke, and likely feeling embarrassed, they also lost their job. Death to a career.
A saga of betrayal (part 1)
This multi-tweet saga begins with the original poster explaining the agreement he had decided on with his boss. Perform well and he would get a raise. He had 30 days to meet his metrics.
This seems simple enough. But then, 30 days later, the metrics were met and the boss did nothing. No raise. The boss instead offers less than half of the raise amount and then jets off for his own vacation.
A saga of betrayal (part 2)
But the original poster was smart. He had been documenting and had the paperwork to prove that the boss was not honoring the agreement that they had come to.
The employee brings the evidence and issue up with HR who immediately fires him. Yikes. The original poster explains that this kind of behavior is allowed because the state of CA is an at-will state and can fire “at-will.”
A saga of betrayal (part 3)
The original poster, Ryan, felt alright about his termination because he felt he had ruined his boss’s vacation. As an update, Ryan went on to stalk his ex-employer’s LinkedIn pages to see that the guy had started three companies since, and they each only lasted less than a year.
Ryan then gets a little catty! He offers his boss a slot at McDonald’s. Hey, work is work, and there is nothing wrong with McDonald’s.
Either way...they're calling out
This person called out of work under the pretense that they are sick and the manager was having none of it.
Seeing through the lies, the manager told the “sick” person that they simply did not buy what they were selling. Instead of continuing the lie or admitting their mistake they decided to just say screw it.
No rest for the wicked
Our original poster, Aaron, decided to blow off some steam one Friday night with some drinks and presumably stay up a bit past his bedtime.
He ended up paying for it too. His small rest turned out to be a big nap which ended in his boss discovering him snoring on a new couch. Needless to say, the boss was none too pleased.
Footlong or the flute
Imagine you’re a young man and your boss asks you to choose between your driving passion (in this case the marching band) or your job (in this case making sandwiches for Subway).
For Matthew, it was a no brainer. His high school passion for the marching band far outweighed his love of white bread and ham. He chose the band, and he was released from his job.
TOTTALLY WORTH IT!
Some celebrities are worth throwing it all away for (apparently) and for original poster Vanessa, Ryan Reynolds was the one she was willing to lose it all for.
Apparently, she asked for an autograph while on the clock from the Dead Pool star at the restaurant that she was employed at. She was fired on the spot, to which Vanessa replied, “TOTTALLY WORTH IT!”
That is DEFINITELY not a company expense
Sometimes there are language barriers between people from different countries that can make it hard to navigate one’s stay. This can include food, mobility, and even where a person stays while on their trip.
And wouldn’t you know it, most companies look down upon booking a brothel instead of a hotel. So, yeah. Original poster got super fired.
Most of us know what a prank call is, you know, calling a person and pretending to be someone else to mess with them as a joke. But what if you prank called your own self at your job?
This prank was more a way to spend company time and money and avoid having to take actual calls as a call center worker. Apparently it didn’t go as smoothly as they would have liked, and they were fired.
Something slipped through the cracks here
Apparently this original poster Anie didn’t make much of an impression on her employers at McDonald’s.
They didn’t notice her absence for a longggg time–a whole four years! After such a long hiatus they decided to finally let her go. Seems they held on for a little too long.
Death and demeanor
Apparently when working in a place that centers itself on death and funeral preparations, it is absolutely key to be bubbly and upbeat.
If you’re not? You get the metaphorical ax! Your career with the funeral parlor will be dead in the dirt, and that will be the end of it.
A fudd-rucking bad idea
This idea seems like a bad idea from the get! Your employer will definitely not be pleased to see that you spent company time doing essentially nothing and wasting company materials. But it gets worse…
Not only did they commit time theft, they also ended up holding up the line for 18 minutes–and all for nothing. This seems like a valid reason to be let go.
"Special" brownies from a special friend
They say a good deed never goes unpunished and this tweet definitely makes the case for keeping your head down and erring on the side of caution.
The real question boils down to how one could buy special brownies without knowing it. Surely they aren’t sold at your local store?
Points for creativity
When speaking ill of someone (most especially your boss) it is good advice to never leave behind receipts that they can easily discover. Even worse? Sending it to them!
But this is what happened. And what did the boss read about themselves? That they are a turdburger. We might have to put that into our vocabulary circulation.